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Weird Scenes Inside the Gold Mine

A pile of leather masks & wings in progress…

School has been taking a lot of my focus and energy of late, so my creative time has been very limited. It’s somewhat uncomfortable, since being creative is really how I process the things that are going on in my life. I tend to think a lot (sometimes to the point of over thinking) so making is a very soothing process for me; my hands get moving and my mind begins to still. It helps me to relax, to sift out my ideas and to find solutions.

Without this outlet, I get a little high strung. That feeling has been hitting critical mass lately, and I’ve been out of sorts. Irritable, restless and generally feeling unproductive and uninspired. I was really starting to get stressed out about this, when I took a second look at my studio.

I began to realize that I haven’t stopped being creative, I just haven’t been able to complete as much with the limited studio time. I’m able to peck away at a variety of projects here and there, I’m just not finishing as many of them. As you can see by the photos here, I have quite a lot of  pieces “in progress” that are piling up. The masks above and the hair toys below represent just a fraction of the projects in my studio right now.

Assorted hair toys awaiting completion

A quick count tells me that my unfinished projects include at least 12 odd masks, 7 pair of wings, 6 or 7 crowns and headdresses, and more hair toys than I can count. That’s not even counting beadwork or leather jewelry (let’s not even go there). It’s typical for me to have several projects going on at once, since I tend to group things in “stages”. For example, I’ll cut out several patterns at once, then shape, then paint, then embellish them in “groups”. Groups of this size are unusual, though. I’m thinking this may be where some of my restlessness and dissatisfaction is coming from.

It’s ironic how often the state of my studio parallels the state of my head and heart 😉 I think that the clutter in my creative space is cluttering up my head! So I’m making a commitment to whittle this pile down by at least half within the next month. It’ll clear up some work space, and hopefully open up room for some fresh attitudes and ideas as well.

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Shifting Focus

Snow Queen headdress – 2012

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that my beads have really been calling to me. I’d love to listen, but I never seem to have the time or resources to really explore this. That’s why I’m stepping back from commissions right now; I really want to clear out some time to follow my muse.

While I do enjoy the type of work that I’ve been doing, it feels like I have fallen into a cycle of creating easier, smaller, “safer” stuff — either because that’s all that I’ve got time for, or because I know that it will sell. That last bit may sound shallow, but let’s get real — I’m blessed to be able to do what I love for a living, but it IS still work. This is how the bills get paid, so I often feel pressured to create the smaller “bread and butter” items that satisfy my creditors, rather than the  time intensive pieces that satisfy my soul.

Amber necklace – 2001

For a frame of reference, the headdress above is probably one of the most elaborate pieces that I’ve completed in the past several months. It’s lovely, and I’m quite proud of it; however, it’s still not a huge time investment compared to my beaded pieces. It probably took twice as much time for me to create the necklace at the left — which is still not that elaborate in the realm of beadwork! In both cases, the significant creation time requires a greater price tag than most of my work. While they’ll certainly sell eventually (in fact, the necklace already has) I typically do not sell pieces like these every day. Thus you can see how I’ve fallen into this cycle of creating more “bread and butter” work, and less of the deeper work that really fuels me creatively.

I’d really like to change that in the year ahead, but I’m not entirely sure how to do that. The cold hard truth is that no matter how loudly my muse calls, my responsibilities remain. So how do I create this shift in focus? Do I take out loans (not really an option), pray for a generous benefactor, or simply take a huge leap of faith?

For several years now, I’ve been sketching very elaborate designs which would incorporate several of the skills that I’ve developed over the last 20 odd years, and also challenge me to develop new ones. While I used to fantasize about having the time to work on these ideas, now I am feeling like I need to. Part of this drive is simply my creative force aching to stretch and grow, and part of it is the need to go deeper and develop greater patience and focus (qualities I am seeing the need for in other areas of my life). I can see and feel this goal very clearly, but I can’t yet see how to actualize it. Any suggestions?

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Taking a break from commissions…

I’ve decided to take a break from custom work. At this point, I’m still undecided as to how long of a break it will be — the only thing that is certain is that I need to do this. Most of last year was spent making what other people wanted me to, and by the end of the year I was having a really hard time keeping up with all the deadlines and expectations. While I’m very grateful (honored, even!) that so many people trust me with their ideas, my muse is really aching to do her own thing for a bit. In addition, I’m back in school this quarter so I won’t have as much time for creative work. As such, what little studio time I do have will be guarded preciously.

This is not a permanent choice — I just need some time to recharge my creative batteries so that I can continue to love what I do for a living. The only exceptions that I will make will be for custom orders that I have already discussed and agreed to accept. If we have already negotiated your piece, I will of course honor that — otherwise, please check back in a few months to commission custom work. In the meantime, please keep an eye on my website and Etsy shop — I’m hopeful that this choice will help my work to grow, and that I’ll have lots of new and exciting designs to show for it! 🙂

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Wings and Things

beetle wing earrings with vintage cabs & peacock feathers

I purchased these shimmering green elytra early last year, not entirely sure if I’d be able to use them. They’re incredibly beautiful, but the whole “dead bug” aspect kinda squicks me out a bit — and yes, I do appreciate the irony of that statement, considering that I often play with dead things (leather, feathers, bones). It didn’t take long to overcome my aversion to bugs, though. These beetle wings are absolutely stunning and they’ve been calling to me for months.

Ultimately, time was my biggest hurdle in working with these. I found myself so consumed with deadlines and custom orders, that I never really had free time to explore my ideas for these new and exciting materials. Fortunately, I did carve out a little bit of time at the end of the year just to make something that I wanted to — and it felt great! These earrings are the result. I am currently working on a collar to match — will post photos when it’s completed.

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Fall Flurries

My world has been crazy busy for the last few weeks! The pace is intense, but I am grateful for it — and for the most part, I actually enjoy it. Over the years, I have had to learn to pace myself… while a truly bustling Halloween season is great for my wallet, it can be murder on my hands and my stress level. So despite the flurry of activity, I am trying to be conscious to take time out to relax and take care of myself too.

Today is a movie day with my sweetie, and if I can talk him into it, maybe a drive to the country to enjoy the fall colors. I’d love to say that I’ll take the whole day off, but that’s unlikely. There are a few custom orders that I’d like to peck at, as well as some fun designs that I want to play with… More bat wings, more sugar skulls, and another variation on the headdress pictured here. Yeah, that’s a slow day at Casa de Beadmask this time of year 😉

Oh! And I’ve also created a new Artfire shop, just to check out what that venue is like. I don’t have a whole lot listed there yet, but I’ll probably add more stuff in the coming week. Cause y’know, I just don’t have enough on my plate already 😛

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Fast times…

Life is moving at high velocity this week; things are going well, it’s just very very busy. School projects, show dates, family visiting — and most importantly, my daughter’s graduation!! I’m so proud of her, and I really want her celebration to be special. To that end, I just might be making myself a little nuts…

Despite the kinetic pace, I’ve been able to get a bit of creative work in. I’m playing with a new style of hair wear — funky beaded and feathered leather hair forks (say that 10 times fast! 😉 as well as a handful of other new hair toys that I hope to unveil soon. My dream goal is to get to the point where I have something for all hair types.

I’ve also been getting a bit more beading time in, which is something that I’ve really needed. As much as I love mask making (and leatherwork in general), beadwork satisfies me on an entirely different level. Even my most elaborate leather pieces work up quickly compared to beadwork. With my crazy schedule, I don’t get nearly as much studio time as I’d like, and it’s so gratifying to be able to actually complete something. If you’ve ever done beadwork, you know that it just doesn’t give you that kind of instant gratification! It’s a very slooow art form — but also very soothing and very meditative. Maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to it right now? Maybe it’s what my heart needs in order to find a little stillness in the midst of all the movement in my life.

My other big creative project lately has been to finish off the website overhaul. Go check it out! I still have a few more tweaks to make, and plenty of content to add … but I’m pleased to finally have the basic framework up there 🙂

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A Quick Hello

Oh hi, sleepy blog! I still think about you from time to time, but I’m taking a full course load again this quarter so “thinking about it” is about the best I can do right now. Won’t be taking as many classes come Spring, so hopefully I’ll be able to pay more attention to this blog then.

Until then, please enjoy these photos from a recent road trip to the Skagit Valley. We went up to the Cascades to check out the bald eagle migration, and while we were there we also discovered huge flocks of migrating swans. Gorgeous, aren’t they?

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Facebook Fan Page

Sometimes I get so busy that it’s hard for me to find time to blog. I’m done with school for a few weeks – hence the flurry of recent posts – but once classes resume, this blog may get pretty quiet again. I recently created a “fan page” on Facebook, which I’ll probably use more often during the school year simply because it’s conducive to brief posts (even with a full course load, I can probably eek out a line or two) . If you’d like to keep up with my work, please “fan” my page: http://www.facebook.com/Beadmask.originals . I will still post here now and again, but the facebook page will probably be updated more often.
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Still alive!

Fall was a flurry of activity. Somewhere between going back to school for the first time in many (many!) years, and mask making, and family stuff … things got SO busy that blogging fell to the wayside.

I’d like to try to pick it back up again, but I predict that it may be slow going. Winter quarter started today (more business classes, marketing & writing) and Mardi Gras is around the corner. And of course, I’m still trying to get all my beads & cabs photo’d so I can premiere the beautiful site that Julia has designed for me.

That said, I’m still hanging in and doing well (just a little frayed around the edges from so many projects ;o). I’ll try to post a bit more frequently when I can, but it may stay quiet around here till spring-ish.

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